I would like to think of myself as a person with resilience. A person who learns to adjust to life’s obstacles and learn to ignore things which upset me. The way Ange, Lin and me were left sitting at the table alone ourselves during the childhood tutorial was just such a glaring reminder to me that things don’t change much where ever I am. That doesn’t change a thing. I’ve learnt to put all these negative things out of my head and focus on the positive. Although I must say, at time I loose the battle and all the bottled up feelings just burst up and its not a pretty sight at all.
With Euhin and Lin’s comments on how I looked tiny, I decided to take a good look at myself in the mirror today. And I realised what they were getting at when they told me that I lost so much weight. At first I thought they were joking, but the mirror doesn’t lie. It’s the individual’s visual perception that differs. I know I’ve lost a bit of weight during the Easter Break due to working almost every day and stressing about lots of things. I did go for walks/jogs, which I think contributed to the weight loss. Another compliment this week was when Amanda (hey Amanda! 
) thought I was lighter than I really was. Hehe…I know I tend to obsess a tiny bit about my weight, but you’d have to understand what I’ve been through in the past to see where I ‘m coming from. I went thru a stage of a slight eating disorder that I certainly am not proud off. That issue can be analysed in from so many aspects, but I’d rather forget about that period in my life.
I look at the mirror now and see how much I’ve changed in the 4 months and I ask myself, have I changed for myself or is just one of my phases? I don’t think I’ve done anything drastic or stupid, so I think I’m in this year to get fit and give up all my bad habits. I think turning 21 really has brought about many life changes in me and none of which I regret. I am still me essentially and that does not change me as a person.
I really think its time for bed after such an exhausting day. I do need my beauty sleep
P/S: Any J-Lifers who reads this, could I please have your MSN? Either add me: gazooie@hotmail.com or drop me a comment for me to add you. Thanks!
