Just came back from dinner with Zaneta at Arirang in Subiaco. I had the usual kimchi chigae there, usual meaning I’ve never tried anything else there apart from that. I’ve concluded from that, I’m a girl who craves familiarity and routine. Take for instance, driving is such a cognitive task for me cause I have to memorise the route I’m going, remember when to merge lanes and remember which lane to keep to or else I would freeze in panic.
Anything out of the ordinary of my daily routine drives me absolutely insane and sometimes I panic. I know I’m not having a full blown panic attack but I get this fear that I ‘m going to crash into something or someone. It is as if I have to plan everything in life, or else I do not know what might happen.
Zaneta and I were having this conversation about how we plan our lives and by what age we were supposed to accomplish certain things. Then the topic turned to men, and how we tend to plan on meeting a guy, falling in love, date for a while, get engaged, get married, have kids and juggle a career at the same time. All this by the time I’m 30.
So the time line went something like this:
23: Meet a guy, find him compatible, fall in love
25: Get engaged to above mentioned guy
26/27: Get married
28: Have a kid
In accordance to the above mentioned timeline, I would have to meet the guy in 2 years time. That is 2 very short years.
But then we realised that you can’t plan everything in life. Things usually happen when you least expect it. Which is usually true for me, I don’t expect things and they just happen. Like Zaneta says, I should put myself first. Think of what is good for Kristine first and not anybody else. Which pretty much is summed up by Peter Petrelli’s mother, from Heroes: “If you put everyone first, you’ll end up last”.
So, it’s definitely time to put Kristine first in some areas of life. Like taking control of my destiny for one.
