It has been quite a while since my last update & there’s pretty good reasons for it. As some of you might know, I’ve been working full time, doing uni part time & been busy applying for jobs lately. It’s been quite a full on couple of months & I’ve been struggling to get into the rhythm of things. I was taking 2 units at uni, which equated to approximately 24 hours of studying & assignments each week. I never got close to even that, I’d say I average about 3 to 5 hours each week at most.
There was an assignment that was due on Friday at 11.59pm & I’ve learned that I can only do assignments if I sit down & do them all in one shot. It’s how I’ve always learned & no matter how hard I tried to space things out more, it’s never worked for me any other way. So I started doing my assignment & hit a mental wall just before the deadline & cracked it. It was one of those hurdles that I wasn’t going to be able to jump through this time.
Matt had been cajoling me & encouraging me every step of the way but no matter what, I just could not make myself go on past that point. And I’m glad he knows me well enough to know when I’ve had enough. It came to the point where he was going to walk me through my assignment each step, and that was when I just broke down, unable to tell him what I needed to do & just blubbered some gibberish while crying.
We then talked it through & he told me something that I thought was very profound: that I need some down time & I don’t need to be on the go all the time. I think that hit the proverbial nail on its head. I’ve been working FT since May last year without a decent holiday from work, all the while studying as well. I’ve been trying to finish up my Masters ASAP, all without taking time to breathe & just chill. I admit, I run on deadlines & stress but I think my head just gave up after this stint.
I’m not at all ashamed to admit that I’ve decided to withdraw from that unit & continue with one unit a semester. If I can’t live with time to enjoy life, I don’t see the point. The thing that really cemented this decision is when work rejected my application for the vacation program, which essentially means that I’m in no rush to finish studying or do I intend to apply for their graduate program. It’s been a convoluted blessing in disguise as I’m in a pool for a job that I know is hard but also rewarding at the same time, and back in my initial field of OT & disability. I’m also in the process of finding out if I’m in 2 other pools for another job within the same sector. All 3 of which pays incredibly well.
I’m thinking of having a break next semester from uni to really recharge my batteries & to extend my Masters by a year. At this point, I’m only doing it just so I’ve got an extra qualification. I’m not 100% about working within the industry, which I’m ok with. My ultimate dream job has nothing to do with anything I’m studying or have studied, so I’m just happy enough with whatever comes along for now.
I’m quite relieved at the turn of events & the decision I’ve made this weekend. It’s also come at a good time as Matt was there to support me in what I decided & knew me well enough to help my decision along & to have my best interest at heart. On a lighter note, I feel that one unit at uni is now doable & I’ve only got another 7 weeks till I’ve got a long break again & I’m looking forward to the Royal Show next weekend!